Today, I woke up with energy and vigor. To be fair, I am always excited for the start of a new day, even before surgery I loved the newness of a new day. The energy and excitement didn't last long, as I got up and had some coffee and ate some breakfast. I seemed to have forgotten that I am still healing and that yesterday I hurt myself getting dressed which caused me to stay a good portion of the day in bed as walking, sitting and standing is unbearable after a few minutes. It's frustrating at times. But healing takes time and I must be patient.
I have had my ups and downs in the past three weeks. I cried for the first 5 days after surgery in complete misery and begging to be out of this pain. I didn't know, or realize rather that the pain I felt beforehand would be magnified by 100. I don't know what I was thinking before my surgery except that I was ready to be out of this constant and unknown pain from Spondylolisthesis. My nerves were all over the place, my legs in constant fatigue and numbness, my feet hurt all the time, the physical pain was variable but constant. It never went away. 22 days post op, I am in constant pain still. It is a different pain from before. My nerves seem to have calmed down a little. I can feel every rod and screw in my back when I am laying down and I move. I feel a tightness around my waist that never goes away. I have to rest after a short period of walking, sitting or doing daily tasks. I pray this gets better as time goes on.
Today's bible verse:
Hebrews 11:1
Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.
Story Time
Let's back track a little, to May 30th, 2025. Two days before Aetna and UW (my insurance and location that I am scheduled to have surgery) are out of contract. I get a call for the reminder of my MRI (which Aetna requested) on Monday, June 2nd, 2025. I am not in America, it's Friday afternoon and I am traveling back home all day Saturday with no letter of approval for Transfer of Care documents that were filled out on June 2nd between myself and UW on file with Aetna, nor the hospital at this point because the scheduler is telling me that unless I have this paper in hand (I didn't have it on hand), when I came in for my MRI on Monday morning I would not be able to be seen. I insisted that the forms were completed and that I had this taken care of more than two weeks ago to avoid this hiccup. Her hands were tied, she couldn't do anything for me. I was frustrated and sharing with her that I went through great lengths to ensure that I wouldn't have to go through this. Alas, I had to cancel my MRI appt, as I didn't know where this approval letter was and my appt. was 7:30 am on Monday morning. I couldn't face a no show fee on top of all this. For some reason, I kept my pre-op appt that afternoon and went to that. It was a bit choppy. Kevin and I were on edge with the lack of communication and the uncertainty of insurance. UW is out of network and I'd be responsible for the whole bill if it wasn't approved or covered. One good thing is that the letter of approval was in my mailbox when I got home and you better believe I had it in tote with me when I checked in to my appt.. I was assured by my case manager at Aetna that I should keep all my appts. and that things will work out, so there was a lot of trust on my end for that. More on this in my next post.